My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
