Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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