i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
