Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
