You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
