Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
