do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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