After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
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