I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
