also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it glows. i had to have it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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