I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
