My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
please come you make the beer taste better
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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