I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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