I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
