sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
