You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
