We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
