i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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