Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
