im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
