i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
