You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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