Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
