forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
