we have pet lesbian snakes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
