isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
