On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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