I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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