you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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