She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
