dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
