Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
