It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
