So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
