...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
