so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
