Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
porn star boner night. come get it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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