i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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