Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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