So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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