But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
