That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
