We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
