Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
