He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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