dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
