with your own penis?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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