she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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