My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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