Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
